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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?